Aperture

Our friend Charlie often places his hands over his eye to look at things. Jared and I have laughed at him for doing so. According to Charlie, he is able to use his hands as glasses by creating a small aperture with his hands. Well, it turns out old Chawles is not the only one making glasses with their hands.

Come to think of it, my view from here has been blurry and distorted for quite some time. Maybe that’s been my problem all along. My perspective is way off like looking into a convex mirror.

I just need to put my hand over my eye and refocus for a minute, and everything will fall into place. I don’t hate the city. I hate myself in the city because I’m not open to the possibilities that exist for me here. Everyday feels the same. I haven’t met any friends because I never put myself in the position to meet them. I haven’t experienced anything spontaneous or unpredictable. Hell, I have barely experienced anything at all here.

When I lived in a city before, I was never home until it was time to go to sleep. Home was for sleeping. The city was there for exploring. There was always something to do. Who cares if it’s something stupid like tennis? I am horrible at tennis, but I have a blast playing. There is still plenty to learn from cheesy people.

We went on an excursion to see the Bean with Charlie while he was visiting. On the way back, he did something that shocked us, but I think I understand why he did it now. We were about to get on the train downtown, and Charlie’s card kept getting rejected in the turnstile. Rather than get another one or put the adequate amount on the card, Charlie just went apeshit. He jumped over the turnstile in a rather clumsy fashion as his coat got caught and he fell over it. My stomach dropped as I felt an impending disaster about to take place, but instead, Charlie just headed straight for the escalator as a lady shouted after him. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the doors opened on a northbound train and we were gone .

In retrospect I now realize that Charlie wasn’t doing this to be a badass. He was trying to shake up Jared and I. In his mind, we are two people who have let the city turn us into zombies. I have to admit, for a minute I felt really scared and it was almost as though we were accomplices to a fugitive. Then there was sort of an exciting sense of relief in knowing that we’d gotten away with the crime. It was something I hadn’t experienced since my shoplifting days at age 14.

Now, all the snow is melted. Even the giant butt plug (that’s what our gay neighbors call it) is now merely a basketball sized clump of snow.

There is no excuse not to put the old hand lens over the eyes and try to see something different here and now.

Comment!