• Posted by Lar on Wednesday, Mar 23rd, 2011

Back in the Desert

I am ecstatic to be back in the land of cacti. In fact, the first thing I did upon my arrival was attend a big welcoming party between myself, my bike, and all my spiny friends. Those in the Cactaceae family are more animated and anthropomorphic than trees. They welcomed me back with arms wide open…just like Creed (sorry for subjecting you to that). I think I will stay a while.

I spent my first few weeks in town on the east side at Mickey’s house. In exchange for the hospitality, I cleaned up all the biohazardous municipal waste around his house. It was a really tough job, and I didn’t have to do it.

Behold the leaning tower of Pizza:

Other activities during January included: riding bikes all over the place, consuming tasty beverages while catching up with friends, and kicking Mickey’s ass every night in Tetris tournaments. In the end, it all comes down to the long stick.

I am happy to announce myself the Tetris Champion of Tucson’s East Side.

I’ve also been helping out/ getting my ass kicked by El Grupo Youth Cycling team everyday. Wow those kids are fast. They whipped me right into shape.

One time I got to see my dear friend and former employer Erik when he wasn’t so busy. He got Mickey and I to assist him in moving a 400 lb. vintage bathtub. 400 lb. tub and he picks the scrawny Asian kid and the girl with the rod in her back to help move it. We were rewarded with Sonoran hot dogs at Guerro Canelo in exchange for our backbreaking labor. I hope to see Erik more in the near future when I plan to unexpectedly move into the shed in the back of his house.

For now I am living in a tiny studio apartment near the university in a guesthouse behind two football players. I like to think of it as my ski lodge in the desert. The football players like to think of me as that weird bicycle riding lesbian witch that lives in the back. Yet as I type this post, three of them are on top of my roof half naked and covered in cocoa butter sunbathing with each other and listening to Hoobastank. Someday I will go all Barbara Kruger on their ass:

The house has a little fireplace and vaulted wooden ceilings. It also has plenty of storage for the bicycles that I’m beginning to accumulate. It also has a red tag on the football player’s front window, cornhole board, barbeque grill, and a “Bear Down Arizona” firepit in the back. I can only take credit for the red tag part.

Next up I shall talk about the month of February. Stay tuned.



  1. Jun 5th, 2011 @ 10:43pm

    Wish I was back in the Old Pueblo.

  2. Apr 29th, 2011 @ 1:27am

    next winter im going to use this site to warm up my house

    • May 1st, 2011 @ 10:56am

      We’ll get you some WIABIS hand warmers.

      • May 2nd, 2011 @ 1:33pm

        a WIABIS store! awesome

  3. Apr 14th, 2011 @ 3:20am

    Saw a link to your blog on drunk cyclist the other day. I went through and read the entire archives over the past three evenings. You guys had some exciting adventures! Looking forward to future posts that fill in the gaps between Costa Rica and AZ.

    • May 1st, 2011 @ 10:24am

      Hey thanks for stopping by!

    • May 1st, 2011 @ 10:28am

      Thanks dude! That’s awesome! Keep checking back I’ll come up with something!

  4. Apr 12th, 2011 @ 4:45pm

    hey – a new blog post!!! wooooot! you are crushing some races lar, keep up the fantastic work. xo.

  5. Apr 11th, 2011 @ 9:17pm

    Whoa! Is Jar & Lar getting hitched on July 2, 2011? This has to be in the next update!!

  6. Apr 9th, 2011 @ 2:55am

    its spring a ding a ding ding dong, yayhoo!

  7. Apr 5th, 2011 @ 12:42pm

    I found you through the crazy-guy-on-a-bike websit. So you have 1 fan here in Charlotte N.C.

  8. Apr 4th, 2011 @ 1:10pm

    I found you through the crazyguy website. I have been reading for awhile now. Glad to see ya back.Charlotte,n.c. here………….

  9. Mar 28th, 2011 @ 1:12am

    Hoorah, springs coming, the blog is out of hibernation!

    Andy Trail
  10. Mar 24th, 2011 @ 1:29am

    God damnit Mickey I saw 3 comments and thought for a second that it was someone else other than you.

    • Mar 24th, 2011 @ 4:31pm


      Count Choclula
  11. Mar 23rd, 2011 @ 8:11pm

    First of all, all claims about Lauren being a Tetris champion are complete and utter lies. Secondly, everything else is completely factual. Third, who the hell still reads this blog? Seriously.

    Count Choclula
    • Mar 23rd, 2011 @ 9:09pm

      you are the only person lame enough to still read this blog.

      • Mar 23rd, 2011 @ 9:17pm

        I’ve still got it RSS’ed for some reason

        Count Choclula
      • Mar 26th, 2011 @ 12:17am

        Apparently i’m lame enough! Yay!

      • Mar 29th, 2011 @ 4:39pm

        I’m lame enough too! I still like to read the blog and all of your adventures outside of Tucson. After accidentally stumbling upon it last year in an unfortunate google mishap i have been living vicariously through your eyes, let me know if i can pay you back with a fresh contribution for your stack of pizza boxes