Breaking Away
Jared is gone. Someone responded to his Craigslist ad yesterday and said they’d be leaving today for Arkansas and could drive Jared to Bloomington. Jared packed up everything. No more Jared. My best best best friend that I have spent 24 hours of many of my days with is going somewhere else.
The guy came to pick up Jared this morning.
I am just sitting here sobbing in an empty apartment next to the chair where Jared always sat. It’s not that I feel alone. It’s that I don’t even feel like myself anymore. I feel like I just lost half of me. When I look in the mirror, me reminds me of Jared. Everything is Jared. I’m not saying that I won’t be alright. I’ll be fine, but I just won’t be me anymore.
As you’ll see in this photo, I’m crying while growing a red handlebar mustache in honor of Jared.
Farewell, sweet prince. It’s been nice knowin’ ya. I hope that the greener pastures and bountiful dumpsters of Bloomington serve you well.
-L
You’re switching teams?! I would totally switch sides for you! Let’s be gay and ride bikes forever! <3
it was kind of a joke…but maybe not!…yeah definitely not. fuck yeah lets ride our bicycles over the rainbow!!!
Ahhhh Laren, Jared is a fool! He’s going to regret this. He probably already does.
I don’t know about that Chawles he seems pretty confident that he made the right decision. I’m glad that he is happy in Bloomington the punk paradise.
Does this mean you’re single I have a big crush on you.
Yeah but definitely going the monastic route for a while and then after that I plan on switching teams. Sorry bout ya luck playa!
Darn…I was trying to find out who you are by the IP address but the only other comment you left was under the truck nutz post. Anon commenter is soooo mysterious!
besides i could never move to louisiana. i had a hard time riding my bike in the deep south.
lauren it was me
what really? i figured. but the ip locator said it was someone in northern louisiana.
I lied.
I actually hate you
i know. i am still confused why it said the ip was from louisiana.
Sorry, lady. Jared’s like that.
I don’t remember how to post videos so here’s a link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUmZi6qZY5c
Hank Sr. kills me every time.
Wait…he’s done this to people before? I guess that’s what happens when you fall in love with a hobo.
I’m just another worn out hole in the hobo bindle. Oh god that sounds obscene!
Sort of. If he hasn’t told you then I would ask him. What I mean is that as much as he cares about a person, he has to do his own thing and move on. I don’t think it’s malicious, just realistic. Nothing lasts forever.
I’ve known him since I was 12. He has a good heart but he doesn’t really let anything stand in the way of what he wants to do.
yeah it’s just what happens when you are young and have the wandering spirit.
saddest post ever! except for maybe when the dog got hit.
oh god that was such a shitty day!
i don’t see how he could just pick up and leave you like that. what a mother fucker of a man. fuck him lauren. fuck him.
Tell us how you really feel, Judi!
Yeah, it sucks but I can’t say I didn’t see it coming. Jared has been really really unhappy here. I want him to do what he needs to do to be happy, and I told him to go at any time if he wanted to. In a way this decision was mutual because I never want him to feel like he can’t do what he wants to do. He knows that I am fine on my own and that he doesn’t have to worry about me getting along.
It is easy to see the situation from my perspective because I am the one writing and I’m the one showing all my sadness. I know that Jared is sad too. Jared is a very good man but he is young and still trying to figure his life out. Sometimes I think that I was holding him back from doing that.
Maybe I’m being overly dramatic about it right now because it’s so fresh in my mind. It’s really hard to say what his decision means for the future right now.
“I am just sitting here sobbing in an empty apartment next to the chair where Jared always sat.”
Oof. Call if you need money. Sorry I cannot offer anything more from way out here in the provinces.
Thanks E…your email made me cry! haha.
Is that a guitar in the background?
where mickey…you insensitive fuck (j/k).
http://img718.imageshack.us/img718/5096/larguitar.jpg
hahaha let me go check and make sure.
you photoshopped that!
why the hell would I do that? I was just zooming in on your original image
yeah there is a guitar here. but it’s a tiny guitar and it’s really shitty. none of the strings stay tight.
but you still got the chaossilator right?
You can always express your inner anguish through the majesty of song.
yeah i still have it!
What can I say lar? You know me.
Also, what is that GIANT map you have pinned up in the background? Are you planning a Jihad?
don’t expose my plans in the public eye of the internet mickey!
Gee, that was kind of hard to read.
I wonder if the sadness I feel is a part of yours or if mine is unique. Is it multiplying or dividing. I’d like to think that I’m taking a bit of it from your cup and easing you bruised heart. At the risk of sounding like a total fruitcake, find a hug, any hug, you’ll feel better.
BTW, I’m sorry to say, I think your moustache is distinctly more auburn than Jar’s. It could be the lighting, though.
Yeah, it’s a big ol’ bummer of a post.
Thank you for drinking from my sadness cup, Lucky! I wish I had anyone around here to hug but unfortunately I don’t have any close friends in Chicago.
I agree with you on the mustache!
If we’re voting best broken heart song, Train in Vain is my pick. Something about that opening high hat followed by the bass line. Almost literally picking on the heart strings.
I know I don’t know you guys but I’ve read your CGOAB journals and followed this site. To me you’re characters in a book I’ve enjoyed reading. Today’s entry felt like pathos, it’s suffering, but it can also be overcoming suffering. No matter what, it’s tough to read and I’m sure, even tougher to live through.
Chicago has some truly shitty weather in the winter. I can imagine being broke and cold would get anyone down. But it’s getting warmer. Take a ride, both of you. Good weather makes anything possible on a bike. Hopefully you two characters will get back together somewhere down the line and I can keep reading the book.
And again, I commented while you were still editing. Another superpower for me!
That is interesting, Andy. I was wondering if we seemed like characters to anybody at this point because a few people such as yourself have been following us for a while now.
Yup, it was definitely cathartic to write this post. Honestly, I think those who read the blog know me better than anyone I’ve met in Chicago. That is an odd feeling and I can’t say I’ve ever had that situation before in my life. Aw the age of the internetz.
Train in Vain is probably the broken <3 megamix song that has been stuck in my head the most…the Clash…i love the Clash, and this is their only love song…not really but it’s hard to think of another love song that the Clash did.
The Clash weren’t really in to the love song, more the why-is-the-world-so-fucked-up lyrical rant. Great stuff though. I’m listening to them now as I do my taxes. Makes me want to chuck the whole thing in the trash. Hang in there handlebar.