Creeping out of Austin
After a very drunken potluck, complete with a really creepy guy, I woke up and felt the need to buy crap due to a burning sensation in my pocket. I picked up a new pair of my favorite size 47 fuzzy on the inside $20 French 1960′s military boots, MKS GR-9 pedals/clips and a little plastic french coffee press.
We went to the local R.E.I. and did not find anything we could really use. Afterwords we hit up their dumpster. In it we found a few backpacks full of stuff with little ‘donate’ notes attached to them. Avoiding detection (it was during the day), we quickly strapped them on to our bikes and split to a coffee shop eager to go through them. In them we found some interesting things including, but not limited to:
- A cheapo watch (died at exactly 5:54:41)
- Clothes (including a new “I believe in unicorns” American Apparel shirt)
- “Just us boys” gay magazine (Lauren was disappointed that she was not allowed to read it)
- Some compact discs (stupid ones)
- Plenty of condoms (and warming personal lubricant)
- A digital voice recorder (with only “testing testing 1 2 3″ and hours of t.v. audio)
- 6 new AAA batteries (Duracell , the copper top)
- whitey tighties (clean…I checked)
- stacks of duplicate business cards & stickers (gay porn websites, Obama campaign, music stuff etc.)
- A new set of bass guitar strings (5 string)
- A new bicycle lock (P.O.S)
- torn up dollar bills ($1 denomination)
- toothbrush shampoo electric razors and soap etc. (travel size)
- little books about friendship and such (the kind that you give to people and have no practical use)
- A printout of cosmopolitans “what to do if he’s cheating on you”
We concluded the items belonged to a younger, gayer man who visited Austin for a short time in Fall 08′ (a few things were dated) possibly letting loose after his man cheated on him or possibly attending this.
Also
I had Kim give me a (butch) haircut.
We are leaving as soon as I post this!!!!!!!
-Jar Jar
