Oh Hi Oh

Chicago was harder to leave than I anticipated. Summer in the city really is fun, and I actually miss that darn shop! On my last day of work before hanging up the wrenches, the guys bought me a crown, flowers, and a balloon. The crown was a reference to the running joke that I was the “queen.” One day I let it slip that I was the homecoming queen of my high school, and they really let me have it after that. I figured since I was already the queen I might as well milk the title for all it was worth. I began to make exorbitant demands such as getting paid $8/hr. The guys had no choice but to cater to my every whim because after all, I am the queen. Duh!!!

My friends John, Jonathan, and Pete rode with me out of town. I insisted on swimming whenever possible and multitasking by tanning and riding simultaneously.



Does anyone remember the free hot dog that Jar denied me on the way into Chicago? Well, there is a very well formed theory which states that the entirety of our Chicago experience was tainted by denying the generous offer by that kind Chicagoan. That lone hot dog in space haunted my dreams. I had to find someone, anyone to purchase me a free hot dog or the city would never forgive me. Upon learning about the curse of the negated hot dog, my friend John courageously insisted that he monetarily assist me in lifting the curse. Ladies and gentlemen, behold the magical wiener that saved the day.

Soon enough we both were so excited to be reunited! Twas a happy occasion. Pete stayed onboard and rode with Jar and I for a day on his way to Detroit (thanks for being such a good friend Pete! I’ll miss ya buddy). It was just me and the tall ones. 5’6″ never felt so short.

Jar and I trudged through the sweltering flatlands of Indiana. The heat made the journey agitating at times and retrospectively comical. We bumped into all sortsa rural weirdos and fanatics that we have come to expect to gravitate towards us at this point.

We stayed with a missionary family in Warsaw, Indiana. We camped in the backyard of their mansion on the water next to a swingset and a bunch of jet skis. While hijacking their wireless signal from our tent, we were creeped out to learn that Warsaw apparently home to the WAR- White Aryan Resistance.

The patriarch of the family leads bike tours and has this big ol Jesus bus. He told us in a roundabout way that he likes to break people down mentally and physically to allow for full spiritual indoctrination. He also told us that part of his blond haired blue eyed family is off evangelizing in New Guinea. Because obviously an island nation that was relatively unfucked with for 10′s of thousands of years and is still home to a few tribes that have not been infected by western civilization really needs to have Jesus and jet skis. He of course wouldn’t allow us to escape without giving us the Jesus shpeel too. He told us that, “He is always there for you to know. Maybe you already do.” We tried not to look and prayed to the magical Lobster god that he wouldn’t pry and prod us for disclosing ourselves as evil nonbelievers.

We are currently bumbling through the hills of southeastern Ohio just outside of Athens. We are taking a break at a little library that has the internets. Spent the past couple of days tromping around my old stomping grounds in Columbus with good friends. Oh Cbus how I do love thee!

Oh shit I have to go. Sorry for an incomplete and discombobulated post. Well, I will leave you all with this inspiring song. <3L

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