We Ditched our Trikkes and Got Rowbikes
You guys may remember that not too long ago, we threw our bikes into the Colorado River and got Trikkes, right?
Well, we felt that we just weren’t humping our bikes enough. Plus we had way too much control over our steering. So we threw those stupid Trikkes into the Atlantic Ocean and picked up a nice new pair of ROWBIKES!!!
We just love wobbling around parking lots while looking like machine humping idiots on our new Rowbikes!
Rowbikes™ are from the same guy who brought us Rollerblades®, so you know they’re cool:
Moose mits fuck yeah!
…and don’t forget the $2,000 4 Wheel Crewzer
-J
They stole that design from the Chuck Norris infomercial. Those look horrible.Your stomach would explode if you toured on that thing.”Man boobs? Not anymore, Man bricks!” Where are all the uphill shots? Sit-upsOnTheFly.com
I like the lounge music that comes with the
4 wheel crewzer. It reminds me of Pittsburg,
KANSAS…where they had piped music playing
in the business district from speakers on the
light posts.
Perhaps that music inspired ole Dennis here to blind strangle and kill?
Perhaps watching the 4 wheel crewzer video too much will have a similar effect!?
THE MUSIC THE MUSIC I CAN’T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD
SOMEBODY PLEASE STOP THE MUSIC!!!!
If you could adapt those things to railroad tracks then you’d have something. Smokin!!!!
Do they make a fixed-gear version?
No, Erik. However, I am pretty certain that the Rowbike phenomenon will soon surpass the fixed gear in trendiness once the hipsters see us breezing through their city looking totally cool.
Trust me. Cut off pants and Chrome bags are soon to be replaced by windbreakers and Moosemits.